Warning: May be long. More to do with people than actually facebook.

The first post contains the types of people on Facebook. I'll update the thread as and when I bump across new types. The next post will contain something related to facebook.

Types of people on Facebook


1. Facebook my life: " I'm bored" , "Went to the the shop", "Saw this movie....was good", "some people are stupid" (You are one of those); "don't want to go to college tomorrow", "am not feeling good" etc etc etc. I don't care if you are bored, don't like college, don't feel good, which movie you saw etc etc etc. Kindly fuck yourself for Christ's sake and stop posting your life on the Internet. Some others who browse this site do have a life of their own and you are wasting a lot of their time informing them where you are, where you'll be and what mood you'll be in. If I was a serial killer...you wouldn't have a wall to post on. Beware!

2. I've just realised what a camera is: Some people have been living in the 18th century and have been suddenly exposed to what the people from the future call 'Camera'. I know you'll are ancient but please can you stop showing us your ugly face from every angle there ever was? Can't you please keep it to yourself? If that's not enough they'll come up with pics of their friends, uncle, aunt, dog, cat, mouse, floor, tv, dad, mom, brother, sister, sunrise, sunset, moonlight and what not. People we know a Camera is a great invention but we've been living with this since a hundred years. Kindly can you stop?

3. I like like: We know you like to lick a like in a live likable likish world in which like is the new tyke with a spike on a bike to like. People stop 'liking' everything on facebook you ever see. I like you until I see you like something.

4. Comment the like in me: Excellent status update man! Neither is it funny, interesting, informative, weird in a good way or makes an ounce of sense. And to rub salt to our already swelling wounds by your recent enthusiasm, you have the cheek to like the post while no one else likes it and comment on it too? That's like me playing ping pong along and yelling "Great shot Rahul, amazing player you are". Imagine....looks retarded.

5. Turn the page: People it's not a book that you quickly turn pages of. Stop joining pages that are shite, you don't believe in and neither have any fucking sense. Daya has already broken the door and ran away like a fanny, you don't need to listen to the ACP. Take me to a time in past...where books were good and not crass.

6. Same pic - hate it: What's this obsession with updating your profile pics every 10 minutes? Are you so tired of watching yourself in the same pose? Imagine what happens to us poor souls!

7. Jobless Spammers: Second last category. Probably the coolest(not really). They hunt in hordes, pick a target and co-ordinate their attacks with such precision that it would put the Italian Mafia to shame. Post after post...they just never tire. Don't have a job and probably no desire. Kings of annoyance with notifications galore, their only aim is to type type and type. Precision and alertness second to none...they probably keep their eyes glued to the screen and jump up when they read "< insert name > has posted on < insert another name >'s post". Useless, jobless and utter retards, in a cool way.

8. The wind in you I will leech on: Basically a spammer, but a cooler one. The guy in this category is the epitome of a twisted mind, weirdness and annoys the hell out of everyone (atleast he thinks he does). With the qualities of a wonderful spammer already possessed coupled with the natural gift of annoying poor, frustrated souls this guy is the ultimate e-disaster the Internet has. Thinks he is cool.....probably is. Naah, not really you weirdo!

9. Status Update - To reveal or not: This type always comes up with status updates regarding anything in their life or someone else's life which makes the readers ask why, how, where, what and such. If you are updating something about your life on a public domain and you know people will ask about it, do not get annoyed and share the reason behind that update. If you can't...and the update is only directed at a particular person, facebook does have a private message service. Don't get annoyed when we spam your update and take your glory away afterward.


10. No Scope: This is a recent observation as I don't tend to be online at 9 in the morning often. This type is actually not a type of it's own. More of a sub-type. What's the fuss with horoscopes people? Are they so unique and magical that you have to wake up at 8 in the morning, get straight on facebook and read your horoscope? Don't you'll get newspapers? Isn't it easier to open a paper that's right in front of than going through all the trouble of switching on the pc/laptop, opening the browser, log into facebook and then the application? Or does the facebook app have magical powers I'm unaware of? I've only read like horoscopes five times in my entire life (not on fb) and what they say has never happened for me. "You can take massive risks today" I followed that and ended up jumping from 20 feet and getting my legs fucked up. Scope-less Horror-Scope.

Some quirks I have with facebook:

1. Facebook Chat: A sad day for a term called Instant Messenger it was when Facebook Chat came into existence. The IM was already raped many a times by the terms 'LOL!', 'u', 'moi' etc but Facebook chat took this to a whole new level. Gone are the days people actually say 'hi' or 'bye' on IMs. Signing off abruptly has become the new cool thing. Now don't get me started on how resource friendly the chat is.

2. News Feed: What does it do? How is it any different from the live feed only a little less useful? Someone please make me understand this. The only thing it does, according to what people tell me, is keep the best the most important news up for you. But what I see is " has joined I'm a Wanker and 8 other gay profiles", "I'm feeling so sad ", "Rip my butterfly, I'll miss you ". Important? I think not. Sort it out.

3. Inaccurate Quiz results: People tell me you are the best thing since God. Prove it to me. I don't want inaccurate results telling me I'm 5 years old, I have blonde hair and I like Britney Spears. The amount of inacurate stuff you'll get has put me to shame as I'm the most inaccurate person you'll ever find.

good read this...
Interesting

The chat sucks,news feed is good,results of quizzes are way way stupid and are predictable

And I come in the 7th and 8th types of people and 4th too sometimes

8th was actually made specially for me

I thought so
Ass

9. Status Update - To reveal or not: This type always comes up with status updates regarding anything in their life or someone else's life which makes the readers ask why, how, where, what and such. If you are updating something about your life on a public domain and you know people will ask about it, do not get annoyed and share the reason behind that update. If you can't...and the update is only directed at a particular person, facebook does have a private message service. Don't get annoyed when we spam your update and take your glory away afterward.


10. No Scope: This is a recent observation as I don't tend to be online at 9 in the morning often. This type is actually not a type of it's own. More of a sub-type. What's the fuss with horoscopes people? Are they so unique and magical that you have to wake up at 8 in the morning, get straight on facebook and read your horoscope? Don't you'll get newspapers? Isn't it easier to open a paper that's right in front of than going through all the trouble of switching on the pc/laptop, opening the browser, log into facebook and then the application? Or does the facebook app have magical powers I'm aware of? I've only read like horoscopes five times in my entire life (not on fb) and what they say has never happened for me. "You can take massive risks today" I followed that and ended up jumping from 20 feet and getting my legs fucked up. Scope-less Horror-Scope.

Rahul wrote:

Or does the facebook app have magical powers I'm aware of?

Thats automatic
You take the app once and then it'll automatically post everydays horror scope in the morning so that whenever you log in you can see this shite.
Even goes with few more apps like Anita the online psychic,On this day god wants you to know,Friend of the day

Rahul wrote:

I've only read like horoscopes five times in my entire life (not on fb) and what they say has never happened for me. "You can take massive risks today" I followed that and ended up jumping from 20 feet and getting my legs fucked up. Scope-less Horror-Scope.

And err.....edit this and put it in the first post

Good one

Why in the first post?

The Horoscope is massively retarded although I was unaware of it being automated.

saithereddevil wrote:

Good one

Thank you


I suppose it was for the thread

Yeah, twas for the thread

saithereddevil wrote:

Yeah, twas for the thread

Thank you.

Another type......


11: Sai Ganesh Iyer: Okay this isn't a type.....this is facebook. Known by many as 'The twat', this guys likes his pet monkey's willy more than his own. Bended beyond belief, still not as gay other posters on here. Willy willy....typing shite all day.....making himself look silly......is a big Billy. This guy is Facebook...he rules facebook, atleast he thinks so. Making himself look retarded all the time he is our sweet, young, fat, retarded Billy Big Time. There is a very famous legend which says the creators of facebook actually wanted to name it Sai....but Sai wanted the domain name to be sai-the-twat which was rejected by The Internetz. The name facebook originated from looking at Sai's face which made people think reading a boring book was better than that. Iyer the guy known as Sai - willy, monkey, willy, twat, Facebook. Immortal.


Yes offense. If you aren't offended, I'll be mad.

Amazing shit

I know.

Maybe I can eek out a few more types.

Sure sure

saithereddevil wrote:

Sure sure

That shifty indirectly tells me you want me to write one on a certain member from the gang

Yes

saithereddevil wrote:

Yes

Name and shame.....name and shame

,,!,,

saithereddevil wrote:

,,!,,

Don't point to the heavens...name names

When the truth is found to be lies, all the joy within you dies.

So sad.

So sad. So mad.....

it's magical and fucking rad

It never ends............

Rahul wrote:

Why in the first post?

The Horoscope is massively retarded although I was unaware of it being automated.

So that those 10 points can be read together

Edit it in for me. Do some mod duties

Done

hmm

Thanks